Ok, hurtling ahead with my story ... what had happened after that nasty relationship finally saw me alone and happy again, was Christmas 2008. Lovely it was too. Anyway, I was given a book, 'The Secret', if you've read it you will know that it talks about what it claims is the way to basically have anything you want, in abundance. Basically by being grateful and thankful for all you have, and 'putting it out there' to the universe, I mean, putting out your wishes and desires, and somehow that tells the universe what you want - ummm somehow what you imagine becomes reality. And so it goes.
I read it and thought how interesting, but hey this is really just wishful thinking and nonsense. But nice to think that just by imagining your life as you want it, that it will be so. Who knows I guess. Obviously there are people who believe all that stuff, and I guess I just tucked it away in a little corner of my mind, suppose I was 'open' to any idea that sounded good, but I was skeptical, anybody would be.
Well a little time went by, about a month or so, and I picked the book up again. Flicked through the pages, reading bits here and there, and it talked about relationships. Said you should write a list, about what you want. And for some reason I picked up pen and paper and wrote a list, titled "my perfect man". Now I was writing this crazy list, all the time thinking it was ridiculous, there simply wasn't anybody perfect enough. Because I had gotten way past relationships. Truly. I didn't want one, ever again. But somewhere in my head I must have thought, maybe. But there just wasn't anyone perfect enough, or crazy enough to want to be in a relationship with me, I was 'damaged goods' for heavens sake! PLUS I have Multiple Sclerosis, so I knew I was mad to even contemplate that there'd be any man out there for me. Thing was, I was ok with that, I was really better off than I had been for a long time.
So I tossed my 'perfect man' list in my bedroom drawer, and forgot about it. I picked up 'The Secret' again though, on and off, and did a few more things it said to do. Apparently you should act as though you have what you want. That tells the universe you already have it, and the idea is that you then get whatever it is you want. Crazy, but I went along with it, bought 2 tickets to a musical that I wanted to see, it was on in a couple of months. No-one to go with but I figured one of my daughters would probably tag along with me anyway, but buying two tickets was like I actually had my perfect man already, see?
Back to the dating website - I checked out some guys on there, I'm human, and it wasn't hurting anyone. There was only one guy which made me think, shame I don't want a relationship! His profile read like mine though, well, close. He did say it'd be nice to have a 'special someone' to go out with. So, a bit more like seeking a relationship than my profile said. He was the only one that really sounded genuine though, no 'internet speak' in his blurb. I did contact one guy and he answered 'not interested thanks' - rather disappointing. So I thought, well I'm not here to be rejected! and didnt bother contacting anyone again. But I did get brave and put a photo of myself up. Erk.
And then, amazingly, the guy I thought sounded genuine, sent me a 'hello'. Oh dear, what do I do now? Well I couldnt respond if I didnt pay to join the website. Damn. But after much umming and aaahing I paid, sent an email back to this guy. And from there we emailed back and forth for a week or so, and I liked the sound of this guy.
Then he asked if he could phone me. I said no (I wasn't going to give my number out to someone I didnt really know!), but if he wanted to give me his number I'd call him. I had a silent phone number so he wouldnt get my number if I called him. I was playing it safe, even though so far it all seemed above board I was very cautious. No details from me!
More to come ...
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